Too... Many... Games...

I'm drowning. There are too many recent releases beside my 360 console. Assassin's Creed, Mass Effect, and Call of Duty 4, all within a couple of weeks. It's a bit overwhelming. I've been doing rounds of each game like a drunk slut in the middle of a blowjob circle working my way up to the inevitable bukkake. Plus I still have yet to blow the Orange Box's load.

So after playing bits of these games (except for COD4... maybe tomorrow), what game seems to have that glimmer of awesome?

Well Assassin's Creed is great, there's no doubt about it. It's one of the most beautiful games I've ever seen, plus the free-running design is fantastic and is probably one of the most innovative design choices I've seen in within the past couple of years (along with portals, cover systems, Halo-health bar, and physics puzzles... hundreds of physics puzzles). But unfortunately you can't just make a medieval Grand Theft Auto, sprinkle about 3 ounces of depth to the experience, and expect to make the Game of The Year. What Assassin's Creed lacks is execution. Each assassination process is repetitive, hollow, and the narrative is as dry as my dead grandmother's vagina. But here's the thing, it's fun. If you don't mind the repetition, then I really can't stop you. The chases can be very enjoyable sometimes, and you'll always find different animations that Altair is capable of. So far, Assassin's Creed isn't GOTY material, but it's definitely one of the best titles of the year, one of the most unique games in the past decade, and will be talked about for years to come.

Mass Effect. Those two words will forever be linked to every positive adjective in the english language. So far, I haven't even gone balls deep into the story, and I'm already immersed in this Star Wars-like universe. I know every species of alien, the politics, and most importantly, my party members. Not since Final Fantasy IX have I actually cared about characters so much. This is the next big Sci-Fi adventure and I'm fucking excited. The mere thought of this being a trilogy makes my pants dampen in love juice. The dialogue system is fantastic shit, and I love conversations now, I used to shit all over KoToR's dialogue, but BioWare has done it to perfection. This is truly the best choose-your-own-adventure experience ever designed. The combat is fun, fast-paced, and very challenging, and can be played many different ways depending on your class (I'm playing as a soldier... because I like guns). Plus the milk and honey of this game is without a doubt... space zombies... I love killing space zombies.

COD4 soon enough.

By the way, Jade Raymond's still a fox. I want her in my pants.


Get Sexy.